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Q: When evaluating the health of a guy's relationship with his mom, what do you recommend a woman look for? Mandel: A guy with a healthy relationship with his mother can say "no" to her, make choices and decisions on his own, have an intimate relationship with a woman without fearing his mom will be jealous or intrude in his relationship, and likes it when mom is busy and enjoying her own life with or without a spouse.If he still takes his laundry over to mom to have her do it, or has her cook weekly meals for him (and he doesn't have the flu), run! And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. God created us to see ourselves as good (hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings). Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). I was once at an intimate concert in which the performer, a deeply spiritual person, gazed warmly at his audience and said, "I want you to know, I love you all." I smiled tolerantly and thought, "Sure." Looking back, though, I realize my cynicism was misplaced.
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She sends him nasty texts saying he is forgetting his friends if he hasn’t seen her for a while, posts catty comments on his facebook page, yet he still won’t cut her off.
He says it is easier to remain friends with her than not to, but I personally won’t surround myself with people who are so toxic.
I am 34, you know...", for example), their talking everyday may not be something worth your concern.
On the other hand, while mom and son may not see or talk to one another very often, if he can't make a decision in his life without her approval or validation, that's a sign of a seriously unhealthy attachment.